Honeycutt Post
I like to think Andrew and I aren't too negative with our posts generally. So this post is our well-deserved “bitchpost”. I have a handful of grievances against the common human that I’d like to discuss with humor and truth. So, if you read this and feel offended because you relate to some of what we describe, know that despite us calling this post “You’re Tacky and I Hate You,” I probably don't hate you. I just think you're tacky. And I hate you.
Participation trophies. Most of what I hear of them is people who’ve never gotten one bitching about them. So if you hate on the “participation trophy generation,” know that you're wrong, you're tacky, and I hate you. And here’s why. Those trophies don't do shit for entitlement or esteem and they certainly don't give kids (generally, now; of course there are exceptions) an unjustified sense of achievement. You know what participation trophies actually do? They sit on a kid’s shelf until they have too many and they throw them all away and don't think twice about them. At least, that's what I did with all mine. I played Rec League soccer pretty much from age 4 or 5 through senior year of high school. The whole point of community rec leagues is to learn a sport, work on a basic skill base, and learn how to play well on a team. It's purely for fun and socialization. And I don't see why kids who are learning a sport to have fun and learn how to be cooperative and a good teammate catch flak from people who don't think they deserve a $10 trophy that they don't even usually care about. And again, let's not forget that the kids don't play for the purpose of getting these plastic trophies; they're like part of a goody bag for completing the season that includes a team pizza party. Shit, trophies are part of sports too. I agree with the naysayers that would argue that they (participation trophies) have no place in a competitive league, but I actually don't know any of the naysayers who say that b/c all the one’s I’ve talked to hate on participation trophies indiscriminately and I seem to be the only person who makes the effort to make the distinction between competitive and recreational leagues. So let's all stop thinking we’re less entitled or work harder than a bunch a kids and let them enjoy their pizza parties with their teams, yeah? Good. On to a current event that involves a dog video and self-righteous indignation.
Alright so there’s video going around that was taken on the set of A Dog’s Purpose where a dog was forced into some water sort of and enough people threw a bitch fit over it that the studio pulled the movie. Supposedly. All I saw was the original video and the bitch fits. To the people who decided they would boycott the movie, dope. You do you. What gets me is that the dog is actually only in the water fully for like 2 literal seconds of the video. People out here up in arms over a puppers being forced to do what it doesn't want to. I’m sorry, so we think dogs want to be cage-trained or stay inside while their parents are at work? Dogs want to go outside in the cold to shit? Also, if safety’s your concern, let's please forget about all the police dogs out there who face danger on the regular. You know what I think? Obviously I’m generalizing, but I think talking about how terrible a movie studio is for hiring a dog for a movie and seeing the dog get uncomfortable when it has to do its job is a way to seem like an activist. You don't have to worry about minorities or women or your neighbor when it's so much easier to be pissed over a dog. I’ll go ahead and put the disclaimer that I was first introduced to this dog video when I was scrolling through Facebook and it was posted by someone I find annoying, so maybe I’m biased. But also, if the studio actually did pull the movie b/c of public outcry, there goes royalty money and sales cuts for every person who worked on that film. Sorry, gov’t, I was gonna pay off the last of my loans with the bonus money from this movie, but since people suck, you can charge me interest for another three months since I can only make the minimum payment. Meanwhile this German Shepard is probably chillin with his loving family and doesn't even remember that one additional time a human made him do something he didn't want to. Shaking. My. Damn. Head.
You know what else I find tacky and repulsive? Condescension. Unless I’m doing it. BUT I don't typically behave condescendingly toward someone based on their beliefs; I try not to, anyway, though I’m sure I fail at it a decent amount. But the way I hear some people talk about “conservatives” or “liberals” like they're dirty words and, by extension, dirty people… now that I can’t abide. You know what I think is particularly dirty word? Sputum. I don't know what it is, but I think it sounds gross. But right there is my point - “conservatives” and “liberals” don't know what “the other side” is thinking. Sure, they know what their anecdotal experience and whatever outlets for news they use tell them “the other side” is thinking, but on the real, you don't know what you're neighbor (yes, gang, we’re all neighbors) is thinking. I hate the things President Trump does and says and I also keep that hate confined to him, because he’s the one doing this shit, he’s the one saying this shit, he’s the one making an ass of himself. Plus he's tacky and that alone makes me hate most people. But if we can't chill and stop talking about “liberals won't even read this” or “haha conservatives now you got your wish and shit isn't going like you thought it would,” then I find us tacky and I hate us. Plus, I mean… we’re ALL losing our Obamacare, right? So that's some shit.
Lastly I’d like to discuss my biggest pet peeve (other than people who over-use commas): when someone tells me what I need to do. Real life example: “Lukas, you need to figure out a time to help us clean.” This came from a dude who, when I tried to organize an afternoon for all four roommates to get together and deep clean our place, cleaned for 15 minutes and then bounced to chill with one of the other roommates. But the douchecockery of my former roommates isn't why I brought this up. It's telling ME what I need to do that sends me from chillin on a beach with the honies to being physically and mentally blinded by white hot rage faster than it takes a 13 year old virgin to blow his load. Like, FIRST OF ALL, BITCH, thanks for presuming that you know more about me and my needs than I do. Thank you also for phrasing something YOU want (in my example, help cleaning) in terms of what I need, putting it all on my mocha self. And finally, thank you for doing that last thing but in a condescending way, making it known to all that you think you're above me. If you say “I need you to xyz,” for example, then you're talking about YOUR needs and what YOU need from me. Granted, I may just say “and I need you to suck it,” but at least pretend that you're not an arrogant ass. You know what these people need? To learn their place. And realize that they're tacky and everyone hates them.
So, that's all I’ve got gang. I did not mean my post as a personal affront to any one of you glorious people who read this, but know that I don't take any of it back. Stay tuned for Andrew’s post - he’s got an important message for all of the socially stunted extroverts out there. Peace! ✌
Andrew’s Post
Overall I’d say I have a calm demeanor; I take satisfaction in little things in life like being able to spend time with my family and rarely find reasons to dislike other people, other than said people having an aggressive or ignorant attitude towards others. However, being a generally reserved individual, one of my biggest pet peeves and something that can cause me to lose respect for you is to assume that there is something wrong with my being a reserved/quiet person when I first meet new people and proceeding to attack my character or make assumptions about me because of this. Unfortunately this is not an issue that I’m simply fabricating out of thin air as it is something that has followed me my entire life and has driven some of my more cynical views towards other people.
I totally understand if someone who is extremely extroverted and overly energetic chooses not to engage with me socially. In fact, it often times doesn’t make a lot of sense for either of us to waste our time trying to find something in common. There are, of course, times when opposites attract and we can balance each other out, but there is no harm done in simply choosing not to associate with someone you don’t mesh with. The trouble comes when others confuse my reserved nature as being stuck up or just decide that I must have some sort of weakness because of it and decide to channel their inner sociopath and take advantage of this perceived flaw in my character.
You may be thinking to yourself “grow up,” “the world is tough,” or “I can say/do whatever I want.” I can’t argue with any of that and the world is tough, especially when decent human beings have to cater to ass holes of the world like you. Since this seems to be such a difficult concept to so many people out there, I’ll try to explain it to you the way your parents/elementary school teacher/guidance counselor/old Willy from down the block or somebody in your life had to have told you at some point in your life: “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I don’t give a damn how my demeanor makes YOU feel, because this is MY life, not yours. If you don’t have any legitimate constructive criticism for me that can help me improve my life in any way, please do me (and everyone else in the world like me) a favor and shut up. I try to be open minded and accepting of everyone and the baggage and beliefs they carry along with them, but this is frankly something I’ve grown tired of in my life. I’m not going to become an incredibly talkative, extroverted individual overnight anymore than anyone who is will become introverted and reserved. Please give other people grace, space, and respect and the world will open up to you.
Also I don’t care for Patriots fans, but it won’t cause me to lose respect for you. That’s all for me folks! Let us know what you think in the comments and what really “grinds your gears!”
