I think music is something near and dear to most hearts, so I figured it’d be cool for you people to read this and share your thoughts and personal experiences about how music has made a difference in your life. That is, after all, half the purpose of this blog.
Lukas' Post
A respectably significant percent of my free time I spend listening to music and thinking. 75% of that time is spent thinking about my past and future, and while I value present-mindedness, I think it's important to reflect on where you’ve been and how you got to where you are. Music has been a significant resource for me in my 10 years of battling (and losing to, more often than not) mental illness. The latest diagnosis I’ve gotten is Cyclothymic Disorder - for those unfamiliar, it's like Diet, Zero-calorie Bipolar II. In my in-person, off-the internet life, I don't talk about it regularly with my friends and family. A lot of the time I just don't know how to describe it or find it beneficial to talk about, and to that end, music’s been my emotional siphon for 10+ years. I find it empowering. It’s also been key to some pretty wonderful moments in my life, so I figured I’d share a couple of those.
The year was 2009, and I was a few months out of a car accident that left me in the hospital for a week and almost prevented me from walking at my high school graduation. Andrew (of this blog) and our boy Josh and some other friends from high school had planned to do First Week at Myrtle Beach that year, but I couldn't go because at the time I had other things on my plate - primarily physical therapy and figuring out how to poop without the aid of 2 different laxatives. So Andrew, Josh, and I went to Warped Tour in Atlanta at the end of the summer to compensate. There's a lot to this story, involving Andrew’s car getting towed and us having to stay the night in a motel, but the parts that stick out were at the concert. We saw Andrew’s then-favorite band, Senses Fail, and I had them sign my back brace (in the aforementioned accident I broke my back). That was cool. The lead singer Buddy laughed while signing it and said, “you should probably put this back on now.” We saw my then-favorite band, Saosin, and met the members in the signing line (sadly this was in the many in-between years where Anthony Green wasn't with them). Other notable acts were Chiodos and Underoath, and even though it was hot as balls that day, it's still one of my fondest memories with my friends.
Another good one involves some relationships I’ve made through music - well, music, and a shitty job I worked in Asheville. At said job, I met Daniel “Qwyk” DiSalvo. He and I have remained friends since those days. Through Qwyk, I met the other half of his hip hop duo Pragmaddix, John “Artemis Diesel” Harper (check them out if you haven't *cough* Andrew *cough*). They’ve been homies since high school, and Diesel came to visit Qwyk in Asheville one weekend and we all hung out. I listened to them practice their raps for hours, and for about a year after that, I didn't miss a single show they played in Asheville and Charlotte. A few months before their first album Solar Panels dropped last year, Qwyk hit me up asking for my e-mail and told me to check it in about an hour. He sent me what I believe ended up being the final cut of my then-favorite of their jams, “Just Breathe,” and asked me my opinion on it and for suggestions on how to improve it - all solely because he knew how much I loved that jam. To this day, that's tied for first (with Andrew asking me to be his best man) with the coolest thing a friend has ever done to show their love and appreciation. Through Pragmaddix I’ve met a shit ton of awesome artists who also happen to be very nice and interesting people: Chris Shreve, a former wide receiver for Virginia Tech and current professor at App State; his hip hop partner Mike L!ve and their DJ, Jetty (together the 3 of them make up Free the Optimus, or FTO, who’ve won the Carolina Music Award for Best Hip Hop Artist two years back to back (‘15 and ‘16)); Walt B III and the rest of Gifted Musik; Day Brown, who I know better as a person than artist, but whose album MidnightBlue you should definitely give a listen; and so many others. Going to any of their shows feels like a fun family reunion. Jetty and his lady Tanya have welcomed all of us in to their home after shows, and some of my warmest memories are late-night talks with these guys about music, politics, and that one night in Boone when every single one of us who was single at the time got laid after a Pragmaddix show. Being with these guys is like being with family, and I wouldn't have that with them if it wasn't for music.
I have countless other memories worth sharing, but I don't want to bogart all of your attention span, so here I’ll let Andrew take it away. And thanks, all of you musicians both mentioned and otherwise, both friends and strangers, who have brightened my life with your music. Now I'm off to see my favorite metal band, Norma Jean, so - take it away Awatt.
*** A little post-Norma Jean reflection: so I got hit in the face in the pit at the show and I went down faster than an engaged couple who’ve been saving themselves til their wedding night. And homeboy next to me picked me up, patted me on the back, and made sure I was ok. That whole experience reflects part of why I love metal shows. Everyone in the pit is a brother - the decent people look out for each other. All those people there, going nuts over the same song for a million different reasons - that's what a community is about. Coming together despite differences to enjoy the same shit and help each other out. Sure my contact got knocked out and the left side of my face will be bruised as hell. But I’ll wear those bruises proudly because it means being part of a community that goes all out for the music they love, same as I do. Much love for The Almighty Norma Jean.
Andrew’s Post
Prayers going up for Lukas’ face! Nah, although I’m not a personal fan of Norma Jean myself, I do understand the feeling of community Lukas is talking about at a show or in a mosh pit. Music is definitely one of those beautiful things we get to experience in this world and it all means a hell-of-a lot to just about every person I know. I had honestly totally forgotten about that Senses Fail experience until Lukas brought it up again, but it always gives me a good laugh to reflect on that day at Warped Tour. Senses Fail was a band I stumbled upon randomly (quite literally, I just picked out their CD at random at Best Buy one day) and got me through those emotionally driven times in high school I thought would never end. Although I haven’t listened to any of their new stuff in recent years, they always bring back memories anytime they come up on my playlist in my car on the way home from work.
It’s funny how we can still remember simple songs that we used to sing as children no matter how old we get. My fiance and I have begun singing these songs to our daughter and it always brightens our day when a big smile comes across her face from us singing “Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star” or “Are You Sleeping Brother John?” I can still remember my dad listening to his Billy Joel or Jim Croce albums too, many of which I can still recite to this day. Music certainly has a strange way of connecting us to others and bringing up memories from a certain time in our past.
Although I dabble in many more genres today than I used to, I’ve always had a spot in my heart for hip-hop/rap. I came across it for the first time when I was eight or nine years old and was drawn in by the sound, symmetry of words, and of course the words themselves (many of which I knew were forbidden in my household at the time). Though my love of rap started as a sort of rebellion in my early years, it grew into much more than that as I got older. There was a long period in my life that I didn’t have many friends and didn’t feel very worthy of anything; this feeling returned again in more recent years when I just couldn’t seem to get my shit together. Both times when I felt as though I was completely alone in this world (excuse me for my past selfishness, family and friends who were there for me) rap was there for me to put my energy into and let go of all of the tension I was holding onto. There’s a line in “Sing for the Moment” by Eminem that I’ve heard other people quote as well which I think sums up why hip-hop will always have my heart. In the song Eminem says, “that’s why we sing for these kids that don’t have a thing except for a dream and a fuckin’ rap magazine, who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long, idolize their favorite rappers and know all their songs, or for anyone who's ever been through shit in their lives, so they sit and cry at night wishin’ they’d die, till they throw on a rap record and they sit and they vibe, we’re nothing to you, but we’re the fuckin’ shit in their eyes!”
I’m so glad I’ve made it past that point in my life and I can see value and worth in myself and others. Listening to those old songs always makes me look back on the past and appreciate where I am now and how much more clearly I’m able to process everything in my life. It also helps me to empathize with others who may not be in the same place I am now by remembering what place I was in not so long ago.
I also love thinking about being able to share music with my daughter and create new memories with both her and my fiance. Obviously I’m not going to introduce my small child to Eminem or most rap with explicit lyrics anytime soon, but when I feel she’s of age I’m definitely going to explain to her how much those artists and their songs mean to me. I’ve already found that she has an affinity for Kid Cudi’s music which always delights me. She can be in the worst mood screaming her little head off and when I put on Solo Dolo she immediately calms down and gets caught in the music. I look forward to the expanding sounds of music and seeing what she decides she’s into as she grows older. I only hope I don’t follow that long tradition of saying I don’t understand her music and talking about how much I miss the good old days, though it may be inevitable. Let us know what music means to you and any special memories you may share in the comments!
*Note to Andrew from Lukas: I can't wait to take Eliza to her first metal show. No one will get hit in the face but me, I swear!
